As a child, I remember waving good-bye to my Mom from the school bus on my first day of kindergarten, going fishing with my Dad on the weekends and spending summers at the Jersey Shore. I collected Legos, joined the Boy Scouts and knocked my front tooth out chasing a fly ball. I was baptised in my parents church and became an older brother twice. I touched the Liberty Bell and made the front of the local newspaper planting a tree on Arbor Day.
As a teenager I worked on a farm and rode endless miles on my BMX bike. I ran cross-country, got into my first fistfight and learned a second language. I got my drivers license, became an editor of my high school yearbook, kissed my first girlfriend while wearing braces, wore a varsity jacket and went to the prom. Shortly after, I left for college, pledged a fraternity and toured with Phish. I broke my nose twice and was mugged in Mexico. I gave the eulogy at my best friends funeral and crawled out of a burning apartment that took everything I owned.
I left Pennsylvania at age twenty-one after totaling my truck on a snowy highway. I spent four days on a one-way train from Philadelphia to Los Angeles and learned how to surf in the Pacific Ocean. I bought a 1969 Volkswagen, lived in a warehouse and bought a dog.
I’ve stood on the Hoover Dam, climbed a 10,000+ foot peak and walked miles in waist-deep snow in the Smoky Mountains. I’ve slept at the base of a Sequoia Tree, worn a tuxedo to the American Comedy Awards, shaken hands with Buzz Aldrin and smoked a cigar with Dave Matthews.
I worked for Adam Sandler for 7 years and flipped a jet ski at my bachelor party. I’ve booked comics on ‘The Late Late Show’ for CBS, spent a year working for Chelsea Handler and was married 30 stories above Boston’s North End.
Recently I endured the loss of my 1-year old niece, killed by a careless driver. We picked up and moved the crew from LA to DC, a new place with no friends.
If that weren’t enough, I’m now experiencing my biggest challenge, as an unexpected, full-time stay-at-home Dad, taking care of my 2½ year old daughter, Ava, and 11-month old son, Charlie. I’m also writing a book for New American Library/Penguin Publishing and working with Sony Pictures Television & Happy Madison Productions on a scripted TV show, based on Dad or Alive.
This Father’s Day, I’m asking for five uninterrupted minutes in the bathroom by myself.
Wish me luck.
Must read posts on Dead or Alive:
- Dad’s in deep shit – Fathers Day Edition
- Hazel the maid
- My two dads
- One year, one month, one day (keep the Kleenex handy)